We’re facing potentially catastrophic climate change across the globe. The world our grandchildren inherit will be a different and probably much harder place than the world we grew up in. Only the most ardent fanatics are even attempting to deny it anymore- humankind has had a devastating impact on the Earth’s climate, and we’ve already started to face the consequences of that.
So the question is, as the ice caps melt and previously prosperous areas of farmland are reduced to dust bowls, is there any way that you can make a quick buck out of this?
There totally is! With a few simple investments you can ensure that when the world burns you’ll be watching it from your solid gold house. So, it’s time to put your money into:
The Import/Export Business
Historically, one of the easiest ways to make money has been to take a bunch of things that are common in your part of the world- food, spices, fabrics, slaves etc. and put them on a boat to take to another part of the world where they have less food, spices, fabrics, slaves etc.
However, there has always been a pretty serious obstacle in the way of making this practice more lucratively profitable- the biggest markets, Asia and Europe, are really far away from each other by boat. This is the problem Columbus was trying to solve when he accidentally ran into America. This is why Somali Pirates are such a royal pain the arse for businesses. Anyone wanting to ship something from France to China is going to have to go all the way around Africa and India before they’re even close.
Many a frustrated young ship owner has looked at a globe and thought “Hey! It’s a really short distance just over the top of the globe! Why not just do that?” and for this reason many boats have tried navigating the North West Passage over Canada, where most of them get really cold and stuck in the ice.
Fortunately, all those yummy mummies driving four by fours on the school run have come to the rescue, as that ice is finally starting to melt, which could cut most Europe-to-Asia shipping routes in half. Invest in shipping right now and you’re bound to make a killing!
Oil! Precious Oil!
That melting ice is doing more than giving us a nifty shortcut over the top bit of the globe however. Because under all that ice there’s another treasure just waiting for us to come and snap it up. I’m talking, of course, about barrels and barrels worth of oil.
Now some people might say this is wildly irresponsible, since oil is basically the reason we’re killing the planet off already. But look at it this way- If you’re a drug dealer who’s biggest customer is dying because of all the crack cocaine he’s taken, and suddenly you get hold of a lot more crack, are you not going to sell him all the crack? Of course not! He pays good money for all that crack!
Invest In Agriculture
You know those really hilarious people, the absolutely genius comedians who, whenever there’s a bit of snow say “Ha! If global warming is true then why is it snowing?” or when it’s sunny say “Ha! If this is global warming then count me in!” My God those people are funny. Of course, one of the reasons these people are so side-splittingly hilarious is that the jokes are based on truth.
As the effects of global warming really kick in, those of us in more temperate climates like Canada and Europe are going to start getting warmer weather and longer springs and summers. There’s money to be made here, because it means that in these areas farmers will be enjoy longer growing seasons enabling them to produce more and better crops.
Of course, the downside of this is that countries such as India, Pakistan, and plenty of places across Africa are going to get less rain and start facing frequent droughts which, honestly, is going to pretty much destroy their food supply. I mean, putting it bluntly, a lot of them are going to die.
Also, in the long-term, even your farms in high latitudes are eventually going face worsening conditions, and by 2080 we’re going to see a really terrifying reduction in global food production.
But this isn’t your problem, just make sure you buy farms in the right place, and sell up before it all goes horrible wrong, and you’ll be fine.